Purgatory || Drabble

Tom closed his eyes, feeling tired, broken and hurt. He could feel a lot of bruises and cuts on his body, but he wasn’t really worried about that now. He just wished to wake up, but he knew he wouldn’t. He wiped his face, trying to not freak out again or start crying, and looked around. At least everything was quiet, and the things of his head had stopped bothering him.

For a moment, he relaxed and looked up, at the trees. It was always dark. For how long was he there? He couldn’t remember. It was looking like months… Years. Tom curled up and wrapped his arms around himself, ignoring the pain.

“Jay…” He muttered, taking a deep breath and starting playing with his ring. “Miss you so much…”

Tom wiped his eyes and stood up, trembling. He should find somewhere safe soon, before that things could find him there. He was really tired of everything and thought he could let that monsters reach him and finish that, but then he realized he couldn’t die again. He chuckled sadly and shook his head, starting walking to find a safe place.

Tom knelt down and touched the grave, smiling sadly. He was silent for some moments and then he took a deep breath. “Hey… I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I’m glad Lore was taking care of everything here. I know I shouldn’t have disappeared.”

“I’m having some problems with Jay. We’re going to get married. I want it so bad, and I’m so scared… Because of what happened, Mog. It wasn’t fair. I should have taken care of you… I know she keeps saying it wasn’t my fault, but I know it was. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have hurt you, never…”

Tom sobbed softly and looked down, shaking his head. He took another deep breath, trying to keep calm, but he couldn’t help when he started crying silently.

“It wasn’t fair to you… If you were here, maybe things could be better…Easier.. Maybe I’d know what to do now.” He mumbled. “I can’t forgive myself for what I did. Sometimes I think I don’t want to. I…I already hurt him. I almost lost him, another person I love. I should be dead, Mog, not you. I’m a monster.”

Tom sighed and wiped his face, trying to stop crying. He looked around for a moment, but then touched the grave toward him again, stroking the name.

“Why can I just hurt everyone, Mog? I know I’m a monster, but.. I’m too scared, and I don’t know what to do. You’d know, though. You were the smarter one, remember? I just could bring trouble to us.”

“…I miss you, brother. I really do. I wish things could be different. I wish you could be here.”

Thomas layed down, taking his new video game to play something and try to distract himself. At least he wasn’t feeling so alone as before, but he still was wanting to go home. For a moment, he cuddled the stuffed cat against him, feeling better, and started playing again. It was really nice.

After a while, a nurse came in and told him he should go to bed and try to sleep. Tom sighed and nodded, turning off the video game. He pulled the blanket over him, snuggling Jessie. The room was really silently, almost like the orphanage.

He shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, but he felt something beside him. He sat up and looked around, rubbing his eyes. Maybe he was just sleepy.

“You’re not sleepy~”

“Please, leave me alone…” Tom sighed again, refusing to look to the guy near him. “It’s your fault we’re here.”

“No, it’s your fault. If I…”

“You hurt him! You promised me you won’t hurt him again! Leave me alone!”

Tom closed his eyes again, sighing in relief when he looked around and saw the Engineer vanished. A nurse entered in the room, concerned, and he shook his head, smiling softly.

“I’m fine, just a nightmare. Sorry.”

Thomas sighed when he received the last message from Jace and put the phone under his pillow. He was missing his home, his pets and Jace. He was just wanting to go home. The nurse entered the room and he looked up.

“Can’t you sleep, sweetheart?”

“No…”

“Don’t worry. I can take you some medicine, it’ll help you to sleep.”

“I dunno..I wanna go home…”

“I know. You’ll go home soon, okay? Do you want the pills?”

“I…Yes, please.”

The nurse smiled gently and went to take him the medicine. Tom sighed again and rolled on the bed, wondering when he could go home. The nurse came back and he took the pills. Maybe it’d help him to not have nightmares. He smiled softly to the woman and pulled the blanket over him. In few minutes, he fell asleep.

Thomas took a deep breath when the doctor left him in his new room. It was clear and almost like a normal hospital room. He’d prefer to be in his own room, with Jace and the pets. He sat down in the bed and looked around.

“Another day, a different dream perhaps.”

He nodded to himself and started to arrange his things, wondering if Jace was fine. Maybe yes. Raven would take care of everything, he was sure. He finally finished what he was doing and decided to walk around the place, wanting to know where he was going to stay.

The asylum wasn’t very large, but he didn’t like the place either. It wasn’t comfortable. He was already missing Jace and his house. He talked to the doctor for some time, and then went to his room, the better place he could find there.

It’d be very long days.

Thomas looked up when someone entered the bookstore. It was a strange man. He sighed, closing the book he was reading, and smiled softly.

“Sorry, we’re closed n—”

Thomas frowned when the man approached him. Something was wrong. He licked his lips, nervous, and jumped to the floor, starting squirming when the man grabbed his arm tight, hurting him.

“W-what are you doing? Lemme go!” He almost called for Jace, but he remembered Jay wasn’t home in that moment. Thomas squirmed again, trying to push the man away. He was really scared and the man was stronger. “Go away!” Thomas screamed, whimpering when the man slapped him. “L-leave me alone!”

The man ignored him and pushing the boy to the stockroom, locking the door behind them. Thomas gulped and looked around, whimpering again when he noticed he couldn’t escape.

“P-please, go away..” The man ignored him again and smirked, grabbing his wrist tight, almost breaking it. “Lemme go!” Thomas sobbed when the man slapped him again, strong enough to make him feel blood on his mouth. “Jay..”

Thomas tried to escape, wanting to go home, and cried out when the man really broke his wrist. He wasn’t understanding what was happening, why that man was hurting him without reason.

—

Thomas whimpered softly when the man stood up, unziping his pants, and finally left him. He curled up on the floor, all his body aching, and started crying silently, trying to ignore the blood on his mouth.

Dark and cold again, like all his dreams. He could be already used to it, but he wasn’t sure he should. He didn’t want to be friend of all that things. Some of them were nice, but he was still scared enough to be worried and wary.

“In the dark hole again, I suppose.”

Thomas sighed and started walking, trying to wake up. At least he wasn’t locked like the last time. But something was happening, he was sure. Everything was too quiet…

“Are you lost, little cat?” Thomas rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the Engineer. “I’m glad you chose a good substitute to that annoying cat. At least I have free way to do my work.”

“It’s not like I had a choise.”

“We already talked about it”, Thomas shivered and looked down. “Would you prefer the unyielding attention of a potent, unreasoning, unfeeling hellraiser? I don’t think so. Then stop and be thankful I’m caring about you.”

“…Can I wake up now? You already gimme your warning.”

“Sure. See you soon, kitty.”

Thomas closed his eyes and, when he opened it again, he was home. At least a good thing. He sighed in relief and stood up, going to take some water to relax and try to forget what happened.

“The train is coming with its shiny cars, comfy seats and wheels of stars. So hush, my little ones, have no fear. The Man in the Moon is the engineer.”

“…Fine. Just leave him alone,” he looked back for a moment, taking a deep breath when the Engineer nodded and vanished. “Awesome.”

Floating somewhere. It was dark, but not cold as usual. It was almost good and peaceful. Falling there again, he supposed. Maybe he was wrong and it was a normal dream. It’d be nice.

Suddenly he hit the ground. Too good to be too long. Thomas opened his eyes and looked around, trying to recognize the vale. He wasn’t home, sure thing, but he also didn’t know where he was. Stupid big place. He stood up and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, wishing to wake up. It didn’t work.

“Damn.”

Thomas rubbed his face and started walking around. Maybe it could help. After a few minutes, he saw an old house, almost like a doll house. He shivered and took another deep breath. It was just a dream.

“Fine. It’s a dream.”

Thomas was sure he was just lying to himself, but he entered on the house, looking around. For a moment, he remembered the orphanage. He shook his head and closed his eyes, wondering how he could wake up. He freezed when something squeezed his shoulder and looked back.

“Fu— What the hell are you doing?” Thomas frowned, looking at his bad version. “Didn’t you fuck me enough? Now you have to upset him, too?”

“I’ve told you. Authority must be obeyed.” The engineer approached Thomas. “You once rejected my attempts to control our lives. Your stupid and stubborn child. Don’t you see what you’re doing?”

“You’re lying,” Thomas licked his lips, his eyes going wide when the other guy pushed him. In the next second, he was locked in a kind of cage. “What? What are you doing?!”

“The whole truth you ‘claim’ to see eludes you because you won’t look at what’s around you. There’s no method in this madness, I’ve already told you.”

“No, please! Please, don’t do it!”

Thomas looked around, starting breathing fast when he recognized that place. The orphanage. He shook his head, hoping it was just another dream. He couldn’t be in that place again, not now. He had family and friends. He wasn’t an orphan.

“Here you are, your little brat,” Thomas looked up and swallowed hard, trying to take a step back, but the housekeeper held his arm tight.

“Please.. I-I have to go home..” Thomas screeched when the housekeeper started pulling him to his old room. “No, please! Lemme go!”

The woman didn’t care and in few minutes the boy was locked in his old room. It was dark and cold. Thomas never cared about that when he lived in the orphanage, but now he was feeling really scared, lost and alone.

For long minutes he punched the door, begging to call Jay or someone. He just wanted to go home, to escape from that place, like a cage with other name. No answer. He gave up, slipping to the floor and starting crying. Something touched his shoulder and he freezed, not wanting to look back, but he did, screaming loudly as he saw that bloody thing.

That damn broken doll, as a deformed child. Now, it was looking bigger, scariest than before, looking like Thomas, or maybe Jace… The doll held his shoulders tight, the blood oozing out of its eyes and mouth, in the boy’s face and clothes. Thomas started screaming and crying again, trying to escape from its grip, and he didn’t notice when he fainted.

Thomas couldn’t remember what happened until he noticed he was locked in their room. He finally woke from his daze and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm yourself. Maybe it was just other nightmare. He tried to open the door and failed, taking a deep breath and starting knocking it.

“Jay, open the door. Please, don’t do it.”

Thomas bit his bottom lip when Jace didn’t answer him, looking at his hands for a moment. Blood. He started trembling and ran to the bathroom, shivering as he saw all that blood in his clothes.

“No, no… It’s just a dream.. It’s just a dream.”

He swallowed hard when something started moving on the mirror, taking steps back. He stumbled and fell, the thing on the mirror slipping to the floor and approaching him. Thomas tried to kick the doll out, snarling as it scratched his leg, making cuts him his skin.

“Go away! Leave me alone!”